News?

You can count on the media to find the depressing occurring events within our society; the shootings, who is on death row, the corrupt politicians, the high speed chases. Is there so much negatives that it no longer compares with what good people are doing for our humanity? You can’t turn on the news channels without hearing how bad our society is getting. Heck, you can’t even turn on the television right now without hearing politicians bash the integrities of another politician. Today I received a postcard in the mail regarding not to vote for Jerry Brown. I didn’t live in California when Brown was in office before so I had no idea of his previous actions, but the endorsers made sure I knew. It’s the same with media, television airs these hideous campaign ads degrading their opponents, and they expect us to vote for them by doing since a childish thing? The sad thing is that we fall right into their trap, they tell us what to believe and what not to. The even sadder thing is that we take this for the truth. Shows like CNN, Hannity, and The O’Reilly Factor debate and share one sided arguments or news. I am very guilty for watching this kind of news and most of my political ideas or opinion comes greatly from this source. I am not a very political person, and honestly it frustrates me the more I learn how corrupt politicians are. Seriously, why do we feel the need to bash each? What happen to doing what we promised to do? What happened to morals? Do we really need to know that a politician is having an affair with his secretary? I feel for the wife for having all that publicity. Will she stay, will she go? It’s like a soap opera. It is pure nonsense but that is what we want to hear as a whole, so the dirt will be laundered. So some of my knowledge comes from news shows but I would have to say most of my information about what is going on around the world comes for discussions with others and school.

Being in college has opened my eyes, and has made me get involved in current issues by projects and/or assignments, plus my major in sociology so I do need a little bit of curiosity, right?

I was actually at work when 9-11 happened. The residents at work had the news on and it was definitely the talk of the day. I believed we were all glued to the television sets that day. When big events happen there really is no getting away from hearing something about it. It’s always the top story no matter what you do; front page news, news break bulletin during your favorite television shows, top story on Yahoo, etc., etc.. The media I think does a pretty good job of informing us of the BIG stuff, don’t you think? The internet has a lot to offer too but I am cautious about what is true or not.

The Media

The growth of prejudice, in general, can definitely be related to the media, especially from movies and television. If you look on the cover of the movie Lethal Weapon, you will see the white guy in front with a gun and the black guy behind in the distance. The way the media portrays images, intentionally or not, unconsciously gives of a racist mind set. I think it is safe to say that we get our ideas on how society should be by the media. I have taken a lot of communication classes and the issues of ethnic, sexist and racial differences in the media have always come up. Maybe it was because I preferred the same professor for all my classes, but I do think that the media, in part, becomes an influence on how we see the outside world. Another example I can give you relates to Disney movies, Shrek. This movie is really funny but if you look at the racist context of it, it is pretty disturbing. Why does Eddie Murphy play the Donkey’s voice? If you really think about it, this movie has a lot of sexist stereotyping. Prince Charming seems a little flamboyant and it is hilarious because our knowledge tells us, he acts “gay.” Is it really that funny, do all gay men act that way? By giving you theses examples, I would hope that you would see some logic in why I say the media plays a big role in how we see people.

Since media influences us as a society, we can say that if also affects our language use. I would say, in general, that we are a materialistic society and we look up to certain celebrities for their wealth or famousness. We want to be like them. So if that person starts a new fashion or uses a new word, won’t we be influenced by it? Music is a good example or this, songs that used words like “slut” or “ho” are degrading to women yet if a popular artist uses it in a not so insulting way, is it now acceptable? I would say there is a good case that is would be, and maybe it has already happened. I agree with Geis on this issue, if certain language is used then it should be acceptable for the use of everyone, not just specific people of race or sex. If not, it should be banned from use by everyone. Rappers, especially, have a big influence on their audience and if words are just blurted out of their mouths, does it make it acceptable? We are such an influential society that when one person or a group of people start doing one thing or saying one thing, it becomes like a chain reaction throughout society; therefore, making it somewhat tolerable overall. The question should be, should it be? Song of the rap genre speak of hate towards police and the beating of women, why do we find this tolerable if this affects the views of society as a whole?

Self-respect is A Must Have!

Choosing between what is more important, happiness or self-respect, is a hard choice but I think I would have to choose self-respect. I believe that when you have self-respect you can have happiness, at least inside your own thoughts. Self-respect is a great characteristic to have, I think. With self-respect you can accomplish many of things, more than someone that lacks the characteristic. People can be happy without having much self-respect for themselves, but they are not truly happy. A happy person in public is fun to be around, talk to, laugh with, but they may not be the same in a room with themselves only. My point is that happiness is a mood and a mood comes and goes but self-respect is a value. It’s a value that makes other people have respect for you, take you seriously and even put trust in. Happiness comes with self-respect, but self-respect doesn’t necessarily come with happiness. You could have all the riches of the world, the handsomest man, the best-behaved children that exist, the biggest house, the longest limo, etc., but will that make you love yourself? Will you exist as yourself without the luxuries? I often think of the well off, money wise, people and wonder, do those materialistic things truly make them happy?

Self-respect didn’t come naturally to me, I have struggled with it for many years, and still dealing with it. It is a hard concept for me, but I believe you really can’t be truly happy with yourself unless you have self-respect. For many years I lived not really having to think for myself, never made a crucial decision on my own and when I did, it was always the wrong one.  I lost my self-respect; it was easier to lose it then to fight for it, which obviously was the wrong choice for me. I had to make a choice, some type of happiness or my own self worth. I chose me and that is why I am here writing this blog for you to read.

Can you imagine not having any kind of self-respect, how could you really be happy? Could you be happy for someone who had no self-respect? If you had no self-respect, you couldn’t respect anyone else. It’s kind of like the saying, “you can’t truly love anyone else unless you love yourself first.” The same principle applies. You can’t respect anyone else unless you respect yourself first. Respect is important, more important than happiness, more important than love, kindness, and all the other emotions.

Happiness comes in all shapes and sizes, but respect is a solid form. People that attend college and want to better themselves have self-respect. Accomplishing your goals in life shows self-respect to others and having respect for yourself will in return be shown back to you. Respect is a powerful thing. It is more than just an emotion or feeling, like happiness, it has capabilities to change to world. It is a value and a characteristic that will make you shine.

Power of Conversations

Communication plays a vital role in our society, and I have just recently realized how important it really is to be able to function in life. Without conversations how would we get anything done that required more than what we ourselves can do? The idea of good communication didn’t really show its importance to me until a couple years ago when I got a divorce and then last year when my ex-husband decided to tell me what a lousy wife I was. Even though this hurt my ego quite a bit (don’t worry ladies, he got an ear full too. It takes two to tango!), I decided that it wasn’t worth it to get all huffy puffy about it and not learn from his stated agreements. I didn’t agree with some of them, of course, but he made some good points on areas I needed to work on, and without him talking to me about those issues I would still have the same mentality. I have a friend, my best friend, that tells me, no matter what, his opinion and without that, I cannot improve my thinking and challenges me to think “outside the box.” This friend also teaches me and helps me understand things, for example, history, current events, why some men act like idiots. I was told numerous times by my ex-husband that communication was the key to a relationship but until I experienced the necessity of it, it was something I did with no purpose at all. I really enjoyed Wheatley’s statements, “Sometimes we hesitate to listen for what’s different because we don’t want to change. We’re comfortable with our lives, and if we listened to anyone who raised questions, we might feel compelled to engage in new activities and ways of thinking.” This is so true; if we are ignorant to change then we cannot learn from anyone. Conversations are how we grow individually and closer together. Wheatley’s essay describes how I see communication these days; I wish I had read this essay earlier in my life. Other people are our life teachers, encouragers and challenge us to do better as a person. Wheatley mentions a conversation that took place with a Canadian woman and from that, lives were saved. The power of conversation is more powerful than people realize, I think. When I have a topic paper due for my classes, I like to get other peoples opinion on it even though they may have a different idea on it. This helps me think of new ideas and more information that I wouldn’t have had if I didn’t talk about it. No matter what you talk about, whether it be politics or just about your day, the person you are talking to will gain something personally. So my advice to you all who read my blog is to keep talking and teach each other something new! Oh, and don’t forget to listen with an open heart and mind because change is only good when you can accept it.

Nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication is really important to me when I'm talking to someone; it helps me understand their words better for some reason. For example, I have found that sympathy is only taken sincerely from people if i can see how they physically respond, not just verbally. It's like the saying, "actions speak louder than words." I do think gender has something to do with it, yet on the other hand, some men are more better than women when it comes to expressive nonverbal communication. Women tend to be more emotional, and according with EL, more observant of nonverbal communication. Culturally, communication varies so greatly throughout the world that I wouldn't be surprised if the was the number one factor of nonverbal communication. Countries with great populations and minimum spaces are always in tight spaces with other people so naturally when they come to American we feel invaded, misunderstand their intentions, when they stand really close in the line at Walmart. I have had that happen to me way too many times. I have to remind myself when i start to get annoyed, that they may have different cultural background. When I do speak about something that I feel strongly about, negatively that is, I really have to watch my tone and my word choices because I really get myself into some sticky situations if I don't. My mom knows me too well and she calls me on my word choices, making me explain exactly what I mean. I guess you could say, I'm carelessly about my words sometimes, not really thinking about the effects of them. If I get really busy at work my patients ask me all the time if I'm having a bad day or if I'm mad, apparently I don't smile and look pretty mean. I'm working of that really hard, I can't have my patients thinking I don't like my job (I might not continue to have a job). I have taken three communication classes and nonverbal communication is a must-have skill to succeed. You don't really realize how essential it is until you make a conscious decision to be aware of it, you depend on it from other people. Nonverbal communication has even been tested to make significant differences in babies. Babies that spend most of their time in cribs versus babies that have human connections by touch were far better off. It is proven that touch can change lives. Non verbal communication in relationships are very important, especially male-female relationships. You always hear of men misunderstanding women. It is portrayed in the media all the time so comically because it's the truth. I don't think the opposite sex can fully understand one another, however, who says anyone can fully understand another being, according to "Bullshit"?